


"Friends"

by TaeSivan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, M/M, NCT Dream appears briefly, One sided, also sorta, kinda hard to explain but not really, sorta - Freeform, sorta too, too many sortas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:36:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28719741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaeSivan/pseuds/TaeSivan
Summary: "Friendnoun1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile"In which Mark considers Donghyuck his best friend, but Hyuck knows better than that. Cause friends shouldn't do what they do.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	"Friends"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone  
> This fic was inspired by "Friends- Ed Sheeran" so feel free to listen to it while you read.  
> I had no betas (we die like men here) so also feel free to call me out if you see any horrible mistakes.  
> I hope you enjoy this fic

“So, boys, as we all know you are all very close. But, for this game, you’re going to have to choose your best friend” The MC said, wearing his fake happy voice. Donghyuck was already dreading where this was going. “Should we start from youngest to oldest?” There were a few encouragements coming from the members, Hyuck just kept quiet. Chenle suggested starting from Mark.“Let’s start with the leader then. Mark-ah, who is your best friend?”

Mark pretended to think for a while, even though he had the answer ready since he heard the words ‘best friend’.

“Well, this is hard, truth is I hate all of those brats” They all laughed. Hyuck pretended to laugh too. “But, if I have to choose someone, I would definitely have to say Haechan. Haechan is my best friend”.

_‘Friend’._

Donghyuck hated that word.

Not because he had no friends, or because he hated those who held his friendship. No, he just hated to be called by that term - not by everyone, though, just by one specific person. The pain he felt whenever Mark would call him a friend - the best of them all - was too much for him to feel anything but hatred for that word.

It was true that they were friends, for years they were very good friends. Best friends, even.

But now? Now, they were definitely more than mere friends.

After all, friends didn't kiss like they did.

But Mark insisted on labeling them as friends with benefits.

And, maybe, at the beginning it really was what they were: Just friends, using each other’s bodies to satisfy the desires that they had to repress due to their busy schedules. Just friends benefiting from each other from pure convenience.

But at that moment? After all that they've been through, after all the kisses, the sleepless nights, the cuddles through movie sessions, after all the midnight make-outs in the middle of their kitchen, after all the complicit laughs and the loving touches, after all of that could they still be considered mere friends with benefits?

Hyuck didn't think so.

But that didn't matter. Not as long as Mark keeps insisting on calling Donghyuck his best friend.

“How about you Haechan-ah?” The MC turned to him.

“Ah, well… For me, I guess it would be Renjun, I think”. He mumbled and felt six inquisitive gazes on him. Everyone in the group knew that Mark and Hyuck were best friends, so their reaction was understandable. They didn’t know what they did behind closed doors, though.

“Oh! Do we have a non-reciprocal friendship here? ” The MC joked and Hyuck could hear some forced laughs coming out.

“That's not it, it's just that Renjunnie is my closest friend. Mark is ... More than a friend to me”. He smiled sadly. “I love Mark.”

There was a very awkward silence. Hyuck thought he could hear a pin hitting the ground by how quiet the room got. Everyone, the members, the MC, the cameramen, the staff, Mark, were staring at him.

“Uh… You love Mark like a brother, you mean?”

Hyuck thought about saying ‘no’ and leaving at that, but one look to his manager’s face - who was watching from backstage - was enough to remind him that he just couldn’t do it.

So he just smiled and laughed it off, like he always did when things got awkward.

“Yeah… Exactly like that”.

_Like a brother, uh?_

Brothers shouldn't love each other the way Hyuck loved Mark.

But then again, neither did friends.

***

After they finished taping the show, Donghyuck was quiet.

Not because of the lecture he received from their Manager for saying things that could be misinterpreted by fans. In fact, he hadn't even paid attention to what the manager was saying.

His thoughts were far away.

They were in a reality where Mark Lee didn’t see him as his dearest friend, but, instead, as his boyfriend.  
In a very different reality that just made him that much more wistful.

Mark tried to reach out for Hyuck after the program - If he was being honest, that statement had left him more than just a bit confused - but Hyuck did his absolute best to avoid him.

He just wasn’t ready to have that talk yet. He wasn’t ready to hear from Mark’s mouth that they were nothing but friends and that nothing would change that.  
So he avoided him.

First with the excuse of having to take his makeup off, then by saying that the manager had called him and that they could go ahead, and then, finally, by sitting the farthest he could from Mark on their van on the way back to the dorms.

When Mark was unable to corner him even when they reached the dorm, as Hyuck was quick to lock himself in the bathroom and then in his room, he got the message: Hyuck didn’t want to talk to him. So he gave up.

Mark knew Donghyuck for years now, he knew that he had moments where he needed to be alone and didn’t feel comfortable with people. But he also knew that Hyuck would come to him when he was ready to talk about whatever it was that it was bothering him.

Mark would just have to be patient and wait.  
***

Turns out, Mark wasn’t good at being patient.

It has been three weeks.

Three weeks of Donghyuck avoiding him.

At first, Mark tried to give him space, thinking Hyuck just wanted to be alone and had a ‘people problem’ - how he liked to call when Donghyuck shut everyone out. But the longer it took, the more Mark realized that it wasn’t a ‘people problem’, it was a ‘Mark problem’.

Hyuck was only avoiding him. He was fine with all the other members, with the staff and the managers. But as soon as Mark stepped into the room, Hyuck would close off or be gone.

It was getting ridiculous. Even the fans were starting to notice that something was wrong.

None of the other members knew what was happening (Mark begged them to give him answers, but they all guaranteed to him that Hyuck didn’t tell them anything), but they all were worried about them.

They weren’t new to Mark and Donghyuck fighting, but usually, they would make up soon enough. Heck, Mark wasn’t new to his and Hyuck’s fights, but, usually, he knew why they were fighting.

It got to a point where even the managers were starting to wonder what happened between the two of them. And what frustrated Mark the most is that he didn’t knew either.

So he had to concoct a plan. He was going to corner Donghyuck and confront him. He couldn’t let this go for longer.

Usually, Mark would wait for Hyuck to come to him, but he had a nagging feeling on the back of his mind that this time this wouldn’t happen. And there was no way he was gonna lose his best friend over something he didn’t even know what it was.

So he planned with the other dreamies to have them reunited in Renjun’s room after a music show appearance. Mark would say he is too tired, so Hyuck would go. And then Mark would show up by surprise and everyone would leave and let them talk.

The plan worked perfectly. He was eating pizza with the other members, when Mark finally showed up, with his hair still humid from the shower and a serious expression on his face.

“We need to talk”.

Hyuck tried to get up and leave but Jaemin didn’t let him. 

“Enough hiding, Hyuck. Whatever it is, you have to fix it because it’s affecting the team too and we can’t have that”. Jaemin said. Hyuck didn’t seem really happy about it, but nodded nevertheless.

Mark was still at the door, quietly waiting for all the other members to clear out the room. Slowly, they left one by one (Jisung and Chenle took the boxes of pizza with them, Jaemin tapped on his shoulder and Jeno smiled sheepishly at him).

“We’re gonna leave some pizza for you two in the kitchen. You can get it when you’re done” Renjun said and closed the door behind him.

The silence was heavy.

Mark wasn’t sure what to say. He was so desperate to have Hyuck’s attention on this last week, to scream at him for ignoring him, to curse at him for being a bad friend, to fight with him because he was being childish for avoiding him for so long, but now he just wanted to know what he did wrong and apologize for it.

“You wanted to talk… Talk then”. Hyuck was the one who broke the silence. He was still sitting on the floor, by Renjun’s bed, and he wasn’t looking at Mark, but, instead, staring at his hands on his lap. Mark noticed that he was picking his nail beds, he only did that when he was nervous.

“Did I do something wrong?” Mark didn’t want to sound as broken as he did, but that’s how he felt. Donghyuck shook his head, still not looking up. That pissed Mark off. “If I didn’t do nothing wrong then why the fuck are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not…”

“Yes, you are! Don’t try to pretend you’re not!” All that Mark could think right now was how mad he was. Hyuck avoided him for weeks, not even looking at his face if there weren’t cameras around, not even speaking to him if there weren’t an audience to see, and now he was saying that there was nothing wrong? “Don’t bullshit me, Donghyuck. I’ve known you for years, so I know that there is something wrong. But I thought you would trust me enough to tell me about it! That you would try to fix it instead of just giving up! Guess our friendship is not worth the same for you…” 

That seemed to trigger something in Donghyuck. When he looked up, Mark could see that his eyes were glassy with tears.

“Is that what we are?”

“What?” Mark felt disarmed of all of his anger, all of sudden. Hyuck seemed so fragile right there, teary-eyed, on the floor.

“You and me. Is that what we are? Friends?”

“What do we mean? Of course we are friends, Hyuck…”

“No! We’re not!” Donghyuck exploded, getting up from the floor. He couldn't bear to hear that word again, not from Mark’s lips. “We are not friends, Mark. We were friends once, but not anymore!” Mark was shocked. He didn’t know where this was coming from and was scared that, at that moment, he was losing his friendship with Donghyuck. “We’re not friends, Mark! We just pretend to be! We just keep that stupid façade because if someone finds out that we’re more than that our careers are over! But I don't want this anymore! I’m tired of pretending to be just your friend! Friends don't share a bed and fuck like we do, Mark, friends don't kiss and touch each other like us, friends don't treat each other the way you treat me!” Hyuck tried to not let it all out, he tried for three weeks, ever since that slip up on the program. He tried to keep away so he wouldn’t blow it and confess his feelings, he tried to not look at Mark and feel the way he felt, he tried to be at peace with the idea of not being with Mark anymore. To go back to being just friends. But he couldn’t. It hurt to be away from Mark, to want to touch, to kiss, to hold him and not be able to. It hurt to see the hurt look in his eyes every time he left a room. It hurt to try to be just friends. So he let it all out. If he was going to hurt, might as well do it the right way. “I don't love my friends the way I love you… And I love you, Mark Lee. I love your smile, I love your eyes, I love your voice, I love your stupid dimples, I love your hair, I love your body, I love the way you react to me, whether I’m teasing or loving you, I love how smart you are and how dumb you can be sometimes, I love how dedicated you are to the things you love, I love your soul and your stupid bright heart. I love every inch of you, Mark Lee. And not as a friend”.

If the silence before was heavy, the one that came after Hyuck’s confession weighed ten tons.

The silence was lasting longer than Hyuck was expecting. More than five minutes had passed and Mark still hadn’t expressed any reaction. He didn’t had to though, Donghyuck wasn’t dumb, he knew when he was being rejected. 

Hyuck only nodded and lowered his head again. He knew that things after that confession would be different. He just didn't know if it would be a good kind of different or a different that would make him regret it.

Now he knew.

Mark, on the other hand, couldn’t stop looking at Donghyuck even if he tried.

How could he not notice before? He always thought knew everything there was to know about Donghyuck. He knew what he liked and what he didn’t, what made him happy and what made him sad, what he loved and what he didn't.

And now he realized how wrong he was. 

Because he never noticed it before. He never noticed when they were kissing or having sex, when they were cuddling or going out together. He never noticed that Donghyuck was looking at him differently.

He always thought it was just carnal for him too.

Mark wanted to say something, to tell Hyuck that he didn’t know, that if he did then he would have stopped whatever it was that they were doing. That, maybe, they should stop it now.

But he couldn’t.

Not when he saw the way Donghyuck’s shoulders were shaking, not when he saw the tears falling onto the floor. Not when he was hurting Donghyuck like that.  
Hyuck took a deep breath, getting ready to face Mark once again before leaving the room and whatever they had behind. Maybe if the rest of the members saw how heartbroken he looked, they would let him wail into his sadness alone with some pizza for the rest of the night.

He was going to look up, to stare at Mark and leave him, but Mark was faster than him.

He didn't hear or saw him moving, he just felt his lips crashing into his.

It felt so right. His lips were gentle on Hyuck’s, very differently from what their kisses usually were. It wasn’t rushed or provoking, it was tender and soft, almost comforting. Like Mark was trying to give something to Hyuck: Hope.

“I didn't know you felt that way, Hyuck”. He said softly, fondling Hyuck’s face lightly. “I can’t say it back, though”. Donghyuck’s heart almost stopped for a second. That kiss had given him so much hope and now it was all crashing down onto him. Would Mark really reject him after all? “But,” He continued. “I can’t tell you that you're just a friend to me anymore. I feel things for you that I never felt for anyone before. A cozy warmth in my chest, every time I see you laughing ... I don't know what it is, I don’t know if it's love or not. I never really stopped to reflect on what it could be or if you ever felt it too. It just… It was always there, you know? But seeing you just now… My heart felt so cold… And I don’t like that. So answer me honestly, even though I still don't love you in the same way.” His eyes were completely serious, staring into Donghyuck’s soul. “ Even, if it might take a while… Even if it never happens, would you still want more than a friendship? Because if you don’t, then maybe we can go back to what we were before. I’ll give you your space, I’ll let you breath and get over me. I won’t push like I did today. But I, really, really like the way you smile at me and the sparkle of joy in your eyes when we’re together, Hyuck. And I’m willing to try. Would you want that?”

This time it was Donghyuck who was thoughtfully silent.

Did he want that? Getting into a relationship where all the love was one-sided?

He could say yes right now and engage in a relationship with Mark. Maybe, someday, he would come to love him back. Maybe, if they start a relationship in which only Hyuck felt something would make his feelings wear out and inevitably end. Maybe, if Mark gave him space he would end up getting over him and laughing about it in the future. Maybe, Mark giving him space wouldn’t be enough for Hyuck to move on. Maybe, it would affect the group dynamics and their careers, since none of the members, Dream or 127, or their managers knew about what they did. Would they accept it? Could they hide it forever?  
Did he really want to risk that much for Mark?

It was so strange for him, that a few minutes ago he was so sure of what he wanted, but now he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

So he just took a deep breath and pulled Mark for one more kiss.

It wasn’t a comfirmation.

It wasn’t a goodbye kiss either.

It was just his hope to find answers.

After all, Mark Lee was always a certainty in his life.

The kiss was calm and soft again. Hyuck didn’t want to rush or heat things up. He just wanted to melt in Mark’s arms and have all of his doubts swept away from him.

And it worked perfectly well. Because while on his arms, Donghyuck was sure of a few things: He wouldn't mind teaching Mark to love him. Because, deep down, he already knew that Mark already knew how. And he wouldn't mind risking his career if he could be in Mark’s arms forever… Although, he wouldn’t mind hiding it either.

“Was this a yes?” Mark whispered against Donghyuck’s lips.

“Yes, it was”. He whispered back.

“I’m gonna try my best, Hyuck”. Mark said, leaning his forehead against Hyuck’s. His eyes were staring straight into the younger’s. “I’m gonna be a good boyfriend for you”. 

“I know”. He said, staring back at him. There was no sign of doubt in his eyes. Just a beautiful sparkle of joy. “I trust you will”.

***  
Donghyuck was nervous.

It was the first time since he and Mark started dating that they would appear on a variety show. 

He was nervous for one very specific reason: Mark was really keeping his promise and trying his best at being Donghyuck’s boyfriend.

And, don’t get him wrong, it was very nice to have Mark trying his best to be a good boyfriend for him. But that also meant he was acting a little different from his normal self. It wasn’t a complete 180. He was just a little more open to Hyuck’s touches and stuff.

But Mark sucked at hiding (Hyuck wasn’t even sure how he was capable of maintaining months and months of their hookups in secrecy without having no one suspicious), to the point where a few members were already starting to suspect that something was different (it was mainly Johnny and Yuta. But even a few of the Dreamies were starting to catch up and they weren’t even promoting with them right now).

So, yeah, Donghyuck was worried if Mark would be able to act normal in front of the cameras, because any slip-ups and the fans would catch on pretty quickly.  
They were doing the last camera rehearsal before they actually went on air.

Oh yeah, there it was worry number two: The show was live.

Johnny, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo were rehearsing some jokes they would make during the show, while Taeyong and Doyoung watched and laughed at how stupid they looked. Donghyuck was just staring at one specific spotlight in the background - and thinking about what he should do if they were too on the nose about their relationship.

“Hey, are you all right?” Mark whispered in his ear. _When did he get here?_ “You seem a little off today, do you want me to call manager Hyung? Do you need anything? Water? Coffee? A towel? Aspirin? Is the outfit bothering you? Or is it…”

“I'm fine, you dork”. He Interrupted before Mark got too overwhelming with his caring. Or before Donghyuck blew it all and kissed him senseless on that stage. “I don’t need anything, it’s okay”.

“Sorry, I was just a little worried,” He admitted and Hyuck couldn't help but smile when hearing these words. “It’s just… Last time you were like this, you avoided me for three whole weeks so…”.

“That was six months ago, get over it Canada”. He rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s a little hard for me to get over it since something really important came out of it… But I can try if you want”. He joked and Donghyuck hit his arm.

“Don’t you dare”.

“I wouldn’t”. Mark smiled at him. Gosh, Donghyuck was so close to blowing everything and tackling Mark into the ground. “But, will you tell me what is wrong? Cause you do seem a little off today”.

“Well… it's just that you are so affectionate lately, and… Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing, it's just... I’m a little worried about someone finding out”.

“Hm, I see…” Mark nodded.

“You see?”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m scared too, you know? I think about what would happen if someone found out and how people would perceive it and I also get worried. It wouldn’t be good”. Those words took a huge weight out of Hyuck’s shoulders. He was worried that Mark wouldn’t be thinking about that, or that he would think that Hyuck was embarrassed of him and that’s why he didn’t want the world to know. “But, now that I'm your boyfriend it feels just natural that I get more affectionate towards you, don’t you think?” God, Donghyuck loved how the word ‘boyfriend’ sounded on Mark’s lips. It was so much better than ‘friend’. “I guess we just gonna have to be careful when people are watching”.

“God, I love you”. Hyuck let it escape. It wasn’t his intention, mainly because they weren’t alone and anyone could have heard his words, but mostly because he didn’t want to pressure Mark to say it back, so he was avoiding saying it for the last six months. But, sometimes - mostly on times like these, where Mark was being the absolute sweetest - Hyuck couldn’t help but blurt it out. “I just… Yeah”.

“I know this might not be the best moment, but I…” Mark couldn’t finish his sentence, since he was interrupted by Yuta.  
Donghyuck thanked God for that. He wasn’t sure if he could hold it back if Mark said what he thought he was going to say.

It was better to hold it in for a few more hours.

“What are you two whispering about there?” Yuta asked. Only then they realize that they had already reached the part of the rehearsal where they should say goodbye.

“Oh, it's nothing, Hyung”. Mark replied. “Just some best friend stuff, right Hyuckie?”

And then he winked.

It was like he was begging for Donghyuck to kiss the living hell out of him right there and then.

“Best friend stuff? What does that mean?” Yuta turned to Donghyuck, but he was too busy staring at Mark to notice.

This time the word ‘friend’ didn’t bother him at all. Because he knew that they were only friends for those on the outside.

Friends could never love each other like they did, anyways.


End file.
